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Your biggest waste of time

Deveaux is a brand that’s worth a look. Launched in 2016, it’s all designed and produced in the US and has just hit San Francisco retailer Union Made. Like yesterday’s bad-dream coat, again we’re in the land of the luxe. Deveaux appear to make beautifully cut casual-wear, with an emphasis on straight-pimping fabrics. Yarn-dyed wool flannel shirts mix with tweed and cashmere knits; this is gear for the trust fund crew.

I’m especially drawn to this over-shirt in a brushed wool blend, which chooses to exploring the colour yellow, by being yellow as all fuck.

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Diseased phosphorescence and sunburned bubblegum

This is the Blaine Alpaca Raglan Coat in rainbow. It’s by the luxury New York City brand Sies Marjan. According to their brand website, “Sies Marjan evokes a narrative of colour, proportion, and subversive fabrication.” It’s a sentence that tells you everything you need to know about Sies Marjan.

The brand’s focus on colour, proportion and subversive fabrication is clear from this coat. The key bit of the sentence is, “evokes a narrative.” Which basically means ‘tell a story’, just in fancier words.

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The touch of a sculptor

Perfectly simple. This Sanca shirt might not twist heads in your direction. But among the right audience of menswearists, it will certainly provoke green-hued squints. Make no mistake, this is a thing of beauty. It can be entertaining to examine difficult garments; working out how a piece with no neck hole and two backs might perform on an everyday commute. But this, this is a different league. It;’s basically a modern classic. Worn over a simple white tee and beneath a wrinkly Comme des Garçons blazer you are at the apex of disheveled smart. The epitome of contemporary menswear. The coolest guy in any room.

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Insufficiently avant-garde

Like a mullet, this sweater is business up front and a party round the back. Viewed from the front, it’s a standard looking navy crew-neck, albeit with some neat weave detail around the upper arms. From the rear it looks like you had a boxing match with a JCB.

Called a, “re-make design”, over at retailer Blue Button Shop, this Digawel sweater is certainly a tale of two halves. One half presentable and conservative, the other a shredded shambles; shredded in the name of artfulness no doubt, but a shambles nonetheless.

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Not an extraneous, what’s-that-for triviality

Simultaneously remarkable and unremarkable, you’ll have seen Engineered Garments shirts like this a number of times. Constructed in NYC’s Garment District, with an attention to detail that’s specifically EG, it’s a beautiful, elevated-basic of the kind most serious menswearmen already own. You could say there is little fresh to see here. Although that buttoned tab, running from pocket to pocket, has me thinking.

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Visual shorthand for artisanal or counter-cultural escapades

Jackets with this kind of boho-beatnik feel rarely come in black. They’re more frequently seen in shades of olive or sand; in-keeping with the woolly lifestyle of the professionally lazy.

Now, I’m no fan of black in menswear right now. Worn too frequently as visual shorthand for artisanal or counter-cultural escapades, it has, in my view become tired. Straight cut black trousers (hemmed slightly too short) and black sweatshirts now appear mandatory in east London. While the athleisure cliche (leggings, shorts, baggy top half – often a CDG branded mac – and a pair of Kanye West’s piss-dreadful sneakers) simply suggests an individual for whom the idea of personal style is alien. All that said, this style of jacket, in black, still feels fresh.

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A personal statement of political dissent

Look deep into the weave of this Anonymous Ism hosiery and see despair. Feel the radiation sickness begin to itch. Sense the crushing impermanence of love. Watch as the vapours, diseased and haunted, rise from the whorl of the River Styx.

These socks are cotton sadness. They’re that queasy nightmare where your penis turns to charcoal and crumbles in your hands. Why not buy a pair.

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A little too enchanting?

As is frequently the case, I’m totally on the fence here. From one perspective, it’s a jacket by Japanese brand Kolor; highly desirable, off most people’s radar, now available at London’s Present. From another perspective it’s quilted.

Quilted stuff often comes off a bit shiny, a bit fancy-boy, a little too enchanting. It’s frequently the preserve of vanilla poshos. West London types who think something bubbly and gleaming with Moncler stamped on it is the perfect accompaniment to a pair of Tods and a pernicious air of entitlement. While at the other end of the quilted debate, there’s the Tan Shoe Army. The endless commute. The regulation Barbour Chelsea. The triangular footwear all pointing the same way, down the escalator to mediocrity.

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The detail’s in the agrarian voodoo

I own one shirt by Tender. It’s ecru, has short sleeves and a long body. And when I say long, I mean long. If I fist it inside my trousers, it gives my groin the topographical appearance of broccoli. If I wear it hanging out, I look like a Edward Woodward being dragged to The Wicker Man. Put simply, I bought a size too big. But such are my avaricious instincts around sale time, I can frequently be blinded to such fundamentals as, appropriate size, style, colour and do I look like a dick? This isn’t to say I’m down on Tender. Far from it, they make fantastic, interesting clothing. This shirt is a good example.

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Progressive sartorial purpose

For the menswearman looking to make inroads into being notable, a simple fleece just isn’t going to baste any turkeys this winter. A year or so back, just stirring fleecewear into your blend would mark you out as a debonairist. A fucking lunatic, but with progressive sartorial purpose. Now a vanilla fleece is back to being the shit people wear to visit standing stones. If you want to fleece things up, but have little or no interest in Neolithic remains, you’re going to need something next level. Something with panels. Something that looks like the guts of a cuddly toy poured over a satin puddling, then fucked with a cock made of zips.

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Basquiat off his box on Ya Ba

If it’s not The Bureau it’s Alpha Shadows. If it’s not Haven it’s Present. Over the last week or so there’ve been frantic, sizeable drops from big-hitters Kapital, Needles, Monitaly and more. Just when you think you’ve got your wearable ordnance on lock, here comes a load of new stuff to make your old stuff feel less weapon. And naturally this leads to a perpetual reexamining of your finances, internal vows to save more next month, and long periods of stubborn silence when you explain to your partner that the purchase of an asymmetrical Kaptial tabard now, will lead to an enhanced commitment to saving for a city break later.

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Zurich-troubling, side-parted, business cool

For those with a longstanding appreciation of corduroy, the trendification of the cloth, particularly pronounced this season, may chafe. Cord in myriad tones of coffee, brick, ocre, and wheat are sagging the rails from Nicholas Daley to Oxford Street – once more the catwalk-to-strip-mall cycle references a signature of more ‘authentic’ clothing. Still, it will take more than the fleeting attention of the dodgem-car-sneaker crowd to sour corduroy’s appeal. Hardwearing, smart-but-scruffy, distinctively-not-denim; you know the drill. It’s an essential part of your rotation. But what about corduroy in its most formal incarnation? What about the corduroy suit?

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Boom and, to no lesser extent, boom

Sometimes it’s the simple things. A stripy top with a white collar. Doesn’t sound like much, but it can be a game changer. Add this to your regular flex and watch it dismember your crumpled olive greens and navy blues with ferocious geometric lines. And check that  dazzling punctuation at your neckline. Simple, but effective. A one-two punch of semi-formality. Boom and, to no lesser extent, boom.

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The Marni lifestyle is broadly free of dropped kebabs and canine feculence

I mean, come on. You’ve got to at least see these sneakers. Over the years this site has occasionally drawn criticism for spotlighting the unwearably absurd. And I have three answers to that: 1) Personally, I think it’s positive to respect a broad range of interesting menswear; even if I’m not recommending the item as a wise purchase. 2) Unusual clothes can be funny. 3) If you don’t like it, feel free to go and make your own site that only covers Barbour and tan brogues.

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That could be you that

Cardigans don’t get a lot of play right now. As an outer layer they can work. But sandwiched between a shirt and a chore jacket or blazer, they frequently look a bit like a waistcoat, a bit la-di-da. It’s the wrong kind of dressed up. You can easily end up looking like a beater on a grouse shoot. Sidestepping tweedy bumpkinery, this attempt from Nanamica instead embraces Thermolite wool and artful nylon patchwork. To my mind, it successfully wrests the cardigan from the poachers palms and into something approaching a Rick Deckard cyberzone.

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The swarm of high street raptors

OTHER/Shop (3 Berwick St, Soho) are hosting a pop-up with Danish brand mfpen on Thursday, September 20. I think I’ll check it out. Don’t own any mfpen, but checking their site and gram it appears they’re exploring that stripped back, roomy-dad-wear vibe so beloved of brands like Our Legacy and Tres Bein. I like the look of these cords. There is an irritating ‘trend’ for ochre, clay and other soily colours of cord right now. But that won’t last. Once the swarm of high street raptors have passed, the more discerning clothesman can get on with enjoying modern and functional corduroy clothes like these.

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If any clothing has a soul…

While the Comme des Garçons Homme Plus line chooses to inspire, excite, but also terrify, Junya Watanabe’s output at the frequently overlooked Homme line continues to offer just-twisted-enough takes on wearable menswear. I’m a fan. Anything that boasts the Comme DNA, that also slips easily into rotation works for me. Excluding PLAY obviously, I’m not a tourist.

Of course loads of brands bang out multi-fabric, patchworked coats like this one now. But they didn’t used to. In fact, you can clearly draw a line from nascent Comme, with it’s frayed edges, mismatched cloth and unstructured, slumping lines to much of today’s menswear. Everyone’s doing it now. But it was the original Comme vision that had early 80s fashion editors coughing out their coffee. If any clothing has a soul, it’s Comme. And if you believe that, you’ll understand why this multi-fabric, patchwork coat is more valuable than the rest.

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A semi-tumescent towel

Kapital, the Japanese brand so frequently lauded on these pages, has landed in Peckham. Alpha Shadows has received a huge drop; a no-filler assembly of coats that defy coat hangers, and tops thrashed into revealing their beauty through relentless and arcane washing techniques. There are socks that look like quilts and scarves that look like pillows – haberdashery as clothing is something of a Kapital signature. I’ll leave you to discover the more expensive pieces yourself and instead concentrate on more some more pocket-liking entry-level pieces, the scarves.

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Sagging like a grumpy duvet

This Sage De Cret liner jacket has been tucked away over at Superdenim for a few weeks now. And it seems like they’ve still got all the sizes. Evidently no mad-stacks-packing lunatic has come across this yet. Where do you find one medium, one large and one extra large dude who each considers £545 a triviality? Not sure. Maybe they’re reading this now? If you’ve got a fat wallet and fit within that general size scheme you might want to read on.

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Gots to keep things fresh

Never owned an Engineered Garments hooded interliner. Been tempted. It’s a season-on-season staple for the brand; a vaguely odd, one-size-fits-all shoulder sheath, tied at the side and worn, at least according to the Nepenthes style guide, over or under anything whatsoever. I’ve stayed on the fence due to questions I have around the interliner’s practical value. I mean, what weather demands half a sweater? And a hood?

While doubtless interesting as an object, I’ve always felt the balance of justifiably practical and dangerous affectation was pitched the wrong way. All of which would suggest that a version featuring both a monochromatic check and a knitted floral would register, at least to me, as unbearably outré.

And yet… and yet…

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A pomposity of florals, stripes and shapes

As much as Daiki Suzuki’s Engineered Garments capsule collection is wallpapering Instagram in black and red, for me, the capsule is not where the action is. Conspicuous within the main collection, this ethnic floral jacquard, used in The Bureau’s first drop for a simple shoulder bag and this Loiter style jacket is extraordinary. What I don’t find extraordinary is that already, it appears to be only available in size medium. Hardcore UK menswearists are apparently already woke to this one.

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Provocative, without slamming someone’s forehead into a door handle

London indie Present are really hitting their stride this season. Sure, their website needs work (if you’re asking big buck for garments, might be a good idea to include some details about the  garment) but their buying policy is well on target. Recently there’s been a bunch of Monitaly (not just the olive and navy) and some choices that even manage to make Battenwear and Remi Relief look more interesting. Japanese makers FDMTL are in the latest drop. It’s not a brand I’ve been that enamoured with in the past, but there’s some stuff here that starting to make sense. Not least these patchwork cargo trousers.

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The world’s first human-furniture hybrid

It’s not every day you see a man attacked by a lampshade. Presumably the result of a fractured wormhole, this half camo, half throw is not of this earth. It’s like waking up with some kind of knitted succubus still suckling away; both inconvenient and libel to draw glances. Clashing different types of garment in one garment is reasonably commonplace. It’s rare however to see it so jarringly realised. Usually there’s a modicum of blending involved in the fusion, creating a sympathetic, subtle join between styles. It appears designer Chitose Abe over at Sacai is disinterested in such an approach. Preferring instead to offer a camo jacket blatantly smothered by a woven squid of Nordic wool.

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Doesn’t sound like much, but trust me, this is notable

Yesterday we looked at floral trousers. Today’s trousers are an entirely different proposition, but one that retains a sense of the daring. These ‘volume trousers’ are by Studio Nicholson and, viewed from the front elevation, the name makes total sense. They certainly boast uncompromising dimensions. There are countless ‘big trousers’ out there, but few have the courage to conclude so abruptly above the ankle.

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There are two ways to wear these and one way not to

These Needles trousers aren’t fucking about, so neither shall I. They’re £600. That’s 600 with a six. And a hundred. What is the level of bro who could march into Goodhood and peel off six centuries for these? I expect I would hate that bro. As much as I admire these ridiculous trousers and as much as I adore the brand Needles, the actual man who could afford these full price would surely be a rack of tits. His attitude to his fellow man would especially disagreeable, his taste in music shamefully undeveloped and his attempts at wit diseased and frail. I believe this. I have to. The thing is, I would like to buy these trousers, and yet (perhaps remarkably for regular readers) it appears I’m insufficiently cockish to actually afford them.

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I gain empowerment through sharing my sensuality

The headline statement? It’s a quote from a female model, slash musician, slash artist, whose name I forget. I read it in an interview a week ago. As a model, slash musician, slash artist worthy of being interviewed, I took her statement to heart. I was inspired. I wanted to gain empowerment. I was in Devon at the time, so I visited the seaside town of Bigbury-on-Sea to share my sensuality. My medium, as regular readers will know, is obscure imported menswear.

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A toddler-man’s dressing up box

If you’re even considering spending over £250 on a shirt that’s sort of a pullover, but mostly a shirt, you’re going to want to know the benefits of such an ostensibly foolish endeavour. In this instance I can provide three, rock-solid benefits. And in a transparent effort to coerce you into reading more, they’re revealed after the jump.

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A proper Christmas goose

There’s a great deal to decode here. And as with so much interesting menswear, the key is context. Glancing at the above and you’d be forgiven for thinking we’re in emo rock territory. Some kind of Weezer or Jimmy Eat World stage clobber; grotesquely mid-90s and somewhere between a skeleton onesie wearing Arlington County misanthrope and Hugh Jackman’s Greatest Showman. In fact this by Japanese brand Digawel, direct from their AW18 offering. It feels a bit fey, provoking a vaguely androgynous mood – in opposition to most of the capital M menswear featured on this site. Or does it? Are we just blinkered by the cultural baggage of our western viewpoint? Does this silhouette, this theatrical selection of detail and fastenings become something else in the East? Have a look at the images and make up your mind.

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A game of Blind Man’s Ebay Basket

Needles mohair mix cardigans are feeling more relevant than ever. A long standing staple for the brand, they really find their place in the current menswear toy box of pattern clashing, mix-and-don’t-match. Worn simply, they’re cuddly, playful, and to the right eyes indicate you’re a fully clued-up member of the Nepenthes appreciation club. Worn with verve (as part of an sartorial argument between a leopard print top and a pair of gaudy tracksuit trousers say) and you’re next level. You’ve walked straight out a Needles look-book. Somewhere between a preening  catwalk stylist and a game of Blind Man’s Ebay Basket. I assure you, this is the right look for now.

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A twisted, sustained, groaning

Autumnal kit is surging into the indies right now. It’s that time of year when a morning glance at your preferred retailers can swiftly provoke imperfect thoughts of credit cards and overdraft extensions. With such an influx of desirables, it’s easy to overlook the odd gem. OTHER/Shop for instance is now stuffed with killer new pieces from Studio Nicholson, Story MFG and Stephan Schneider (some of which we’ll doubtless spotlight here in due course) but this early season top from in-house label OTHER Collection shouldn’t be forgotten.

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Watching Antiques Roadshow nibbling Battenberg

Some time back, I remember seeing a large fluorescent crochet blanket in the Good Design section of Dover Street Market. Outside of the giant ‘Comme des Garçons’ stitched over the top in black wool, it was exactly the kind of thing you’d see in a Save the Children store and dismiss for being too ‘granny’. However, the simple addition of the logo, as effectively illustrated here, transformed the piece into something desirable. Were it not for the £300 plus swing ticket, it’d be draped over my sofa right now.

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Cool old Japanese blokes in slip on shoes and flared jogging bottoms

Check this full power leopard print. Full coverage, no subtlety, no muting to make the pattern more palatable. Monitaly have gone all out to capture the natural beauty of the leopard – in 100% polyester fleece. Some will fear the boldness of course. But come on grandad, leopard print isn’t about Debbie Harry any more. It’s about Nepenthes and Needles and confident print clashing and cool old Japanese blokes in slip on shoes and flared jogging bottoms. Magazines like Popeye and The New Order are full of those dudes. I must insist on becoming one of those dudes. Irrespective of the cost to my finances or my dignity.

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As on point as pointy things get

Seemingly mirroring the irrational times we live in, this compound creation from Kohei Nishimura’s Digawel is frankly deranged. A sweater, a sweatshirt or some diabolical hybrid? A bit of everything ever thunk; abstracted and suffused in hysteria. It’s a beautiful abomination. You would never own this. Neither (in the parlance of luxury watchmakers) are you merely looking after it for the next generation. This would own you. You will do its bidding. And it’s bidding is to make you appear simultaneously ridiculous and as on point as pointy things get.

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Extrovert certainly, but hardly avant-garde

Nicholas Daley for AW18, the enthusiastically hyped RED CLAY collection, is hitting stores now. Curiously absent from Daley’s stockist list is The Bureau, who, regular readers will recall, were integral in bringing the line to the attention of menswearists back in February 2017. Perhaps the line hasn’t faired as well as expected with the utilitarian orSlow/EG crowd. Seems surprising though. The RED CLAY collection offers beautiful heavy wools and corduroys, in navys, burnt oranges and ocres – a little extrovert certainly, but hardly avant-garde.

It now falls to London’s Goodhood to carry Nicholas Daley (alongside Dover Street) and the first drop is in  – comprising a modified version of the front slit shirt, some simple chunky knits, a collarless take on last winter’s patched, navy cord jacket and the frankly delicious orange cord pieces you see here.

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A woollen reminiscence

This is what Comme des Garçons used to be about. Before Dover Street Market welcomed the hypebeasts and people who only buy the wallets. Before decades of questionable collaborations, countless fragrances and the ubiquity of PLAY Converse, this jacket is what Comme des Garçons was about. Inscrutable, proudly intellectual, and resolutely straight-faced, as it peddled its subversive mystique to successful creatives and oddball society grandmothers.

Now that the new digital only CDG line is up and running – comprising yet more nylon bags, tees and coats covered in logos – this raw-edged, patchwork jacket feels especially relevant. If only to those nostalgic for the days of SIX magazine and incomprehensible adverts in The Face. And to anyone who remembers the old Comme shop on Brook Street; buzzing to get in, before shuffling around in silence. Your veneer of confidence, steadily eroding beneath the vampiric assistants’ terrifying gaze.

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900 dunces a day

These Suicoke boots have a 100% cow suede upper, a nylon lining, an EVA antibacterial footbed, and a tomato red lacing and toggle system at the back. But they look a bit like UGGs.

Are you a 20 year old, east London fine art student, who wears Crocs out to a bar? Do you respond to inquisition by simply saying, they’re comfortable –  contrary to your deeply considered and transparent anti-fashion, ironic reclamation? If so, you can probably get away with these. Although actually you’d probably prefer actual UGGs? Second hand ones. More grimy. Less bouji. Like, countercultural and shit, yeah?

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When Brexit turns us all into cannibals

A spot of stealth-luxury from OTHER/Shop here. On their site, it’s called a t-shirt, but really it’s a top. Scholars from Cambridge to the CERN Institute, are interrogating the exact different between a ‘tee’ and a’top’ – so far there’s no consensus. But for those not schooled in the scientific, the easiest way to tell the difference is that a ‘top’ will probably cost £50 more than a tee. Having said that, this piece self-identifies as a tee; a Chester Indigo Woven Tee to be precise. And it costs a healthy £150. You can see why the experts are so confused.

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The only hat guaranteed to give you a headache

Last season Nepenthes and NOMA t.d teamed up on shirting (Needles construction, NOMA t.d print) this season it’s Engineered Garments’ turn. So far the only proof of the collaboration is over at Japan’s Digital Mountain. There’s a beret. Which is, well… a beret. And there’s this check and smudge collision all over a signature EG bucket hat. It’s seemingly reflective of the entirely red and black subsection of EG’s AW18 collection and it’s a bold print no doubt. But to those in the know, the purchase of an EG bucket hat comes with its own particular set of complications.

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Trying to play the chorus of Yellow Submarine through a conch shell

Mens’ accessories frequently fall into a couple of stylistic camps. There’s the standard turbo-hetro stuff. You know, cartoonishly large watches and heavy silver bracelets that look like you’d have no problem punching through a plaster wall. Traditional, bloody blokey man stuff; it’s jewellery, but I’m not into knobs right. Then there’s the other camp. Stuff that suggests you’re still deciding on your power animal. The sort of neoshamanist, rainbow wrapped, unicorn loving embellishments found around Santa Monica Pier, frequently worn by a white dude with dreads trying to play the chorus of Yellow Submarine through a conch shell.

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I know, I know…

Occasionally this site has been accused of covering the unwearable. Rather than propose sober, workable pieces, it has been suggested that too frequently there’s a tendency to spotlight outright foolishness; presumably in an effort to shock or amuse. I refute such allegations. That said, it would be irresponsible to simply ignore the judgement of a dissatisfied minority. I hope today’s post illustrates this site’s continued commitment to clear-headed utility.

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A ‘holy shit’ coat

This coat is covered in popups. Fans of less than scrupulous movie streaming sites will be familiar with the experience. I feel like I want to close a few of them to see what’s underneath. I’m pretty sure that before wearing you’d have to type a phrase into Captcha to prove you’re not a robot.

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Someday it will be cool again

Animal prints have come a long way since their 80s association with Marlene from Only Fools and Horses and whatever ‘bit of skirt’ Minder’s Dennis Waterman was taking for a prawn cocktail. Or have they? Well, actually, no. Animal prints are still all about flouncery. They’re still for show offs. They’re still viewed through the eyes of the conformist middle-class as the preserve of the vulgarian.

Of course, these days animal print has been embraced by the ambrosia dependant world of streetwear – hence the frequency you see it used as camouflage by an ageing stylesman. But animal print’s power to look a little outré, even a bit crass, remains fundamental to its place in the cultural mix. Reason enough, I’d suggest, to check out these three new shirts from Sasquatchfabrix.

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You might as well buy three

With the 80s stylings of a Michael Jackson leather (or Eddie Murphy’s stage get-up) this asymmetric YSTRDY’S TMRRW pullover will transport you back to a world of Funny Feet ices, Psion Organisers and dancing with tears in your eyes. Course, you may not be old enough to remember the 80s. Just trust me. Fashionable types from the members of Spandau Ballet to the head bully-boy down the precinct wore puffy, nylon tops like this. Crunchy, ballooning garments, with zips as wonky as Thatcher’s policies.

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The untrained eye

It’s not easy being a fan of The North Face Purple Label. Of course it’s only available in Japan, which makes things difficult enough. But there’s also the fact that goods by The North Face Purple Label often look rather like goods from The North Face. At least, they do to the untrained eye – of virtually everyone on the planet. This has much to do with both ranges’ insistence on using standard The North Face branding. So you could be busting freshly proxy-serviced Purple Label wind-cheater, only for an well-meaning acquaintance to point out that, they too are a fan of The North Face and have a similar jacket and a rucksack to boot.

You are then in the unenviable position of either:

  1. Smiling and nodding and swallowing your fury.
  2. Pointing out that in fact their jacket and rucksack are by The North Face, while your jacket is by The North Face Purple Label, the significantly more fashion-forward, only-in-Japan line designed by Eiichiro Homma of Nanamica.

The first option will lead to stress related illnesses. The second option will make you look like an intolerable twat.

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I’ve really gone off this now

Everyone’s on the ‘remade’ tip. Taking old stuff, hacking it up, stitching it back together and reselling (with varying degrees of self-congratulatory eco emphasis). The UK’s Christopher Raeburn is at it, as are Japan’s Needles and Comme des Garçons. Italy’s MYAR all the way to Atelier and Repairs and Bode from the US – there’s an increasing amount of this stuff about. Of course, in its own nascent way, it represents an pleasing statement of intent from the clothing industry. Apparently some have realised it’s difficult to sell shirts beneath a billion cubic miles of melted ice cap.

It would appear obscure Japanese brand Go-Getter is also woke to this conundrum.

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Stick two fingers up to the man

It’s fascinating how effectively the past presages the future. Plato’s writing on the collapse of democracies predicts a terrifying chain of events. Events that appear to already be well underway on the global political stage. And then look at the forewarning in the furious, confused, chaos of traditional West African prints. Surely prophesying the contents of the average Brexiteer’s brain.

Let’s face it, we’re on the road to a global Gilead. Soon we’ll all have to wear red cloaks and giant pet cones. Solar power will be reclassified as an affront to God. Trump will marry his own daughter. Putin will marry his horse. Gays and Mexicans will be forced to fight in a Thunderdome. And you can be sure, buying a jazzy African sun hat will be downright treasonous.

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So shiny. So luxe

Over at End Clothing, the Walmart of international menswear, they’re currently pushing Italian “sport suit” imprint DIMA LEU. Apparently the brand is “marking the point where sportswear meets suiting”. At first glance it is unclear what this actually means. Take a second glance though, and you’ll still be in the dark. The uncharitable might say it’s simply a range of long sleeved tees and track pants. A “concept” that is already familiar to any patron of Sports Direct. However, this isn’t Sports Direct. This is End. And this is an obscure, imported brand. So let’s reject rationality and inconvenient facts. Let’s pretend this really does represent a rarefied coupling between sportswear and suiting. Trust me, it’ll make the pricing structure more palatable.

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