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White Mountaineering x Danner offer the fringiest boots ever

Fringed booties people. Combining the collaborative might of Japanese outdoorists White Mountaineering and US boot makers Danner. And yes, the result is mind-blowing.

Look upon them, see how they demand both reverence and fear. Have you ever witnessed such hardcore tasseling? Only the seriously headstrong or the seriously headfucked need apply. Are you dude enough to get soaked by this torrential downpour of suede rain?

I do enjoy the mangled English that Google Translate coughs out when I’m trying to understand a product. Check this from White Mountaineering’s site, ‘it is a limited design that has been arranged so that it can be said to be a complete original.” Lovely right? So pleasingly humble. But also accurate. These are ‘a complete original’. They look insane in the pics, I can barely imagine the impact these would have IRL. You could find yourself in a Hackney basement bar and these would kill. You could even find yourself in a Midlands carvery, surrounded by Daily Mail readers hungrily ingesting a diet of undercooked lamb and cheerful racism, these boots would still kill. In fact they’d probably give some old bigot a hearters.

Onboard these White Mountaineering x Danner beasts you’ve got two midsole EVA sections, providing that giant wedged vibe. There’s also a zip up cover section up the front, reminiscent of military combat boots. Plus of course there’s that fringe. It’s removable, so if for some reason you don’t want to wear a ballgown around your ankle, you can. Personally, I’d keep it on. At. All. Times.

I see these ridiculously brilliant boots as an effective metaphor for resisting the right. Robust and immovable, while simultaneously ostentatious and a little camp. I like the idea that these boots would confuse the denizens of the shires, provoking an uncomfortable battle between heart and mind. On the one hand they’d see these fringes swish and clutch at their pearls. On the other they be privately seduced by the sheer beauty. They wouldn’t know what to think. A bit like a suede Priti Patel.

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