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Dries Van Noten bringing the sexy Charles Manson look

I dunno what’s happening to me at the moment. I’m fully aware of the kind of stuff that suits me, I know the kind of clothes I’ll get most wear from. I know that dark blues, olives and greys are my friends. Yet I’m increasingly drawn towards clothing that strobes.

If it’s not Online Ceramics and their psychoactive tees, it’s Story MFG‘s most hallucinogenic pieces; daubed in cartoon fungi and dancing butterflies. I’m usually the guy at the back, shrouded top to bottom in deepest navy, a bucket hat and a sneer. I’m not the guy selling hash cakes and shaking a rain stick. The most spiritual I get is ordering a Massaman instead of a Green Curry. Yet here I am spotlighting a Dries Van Noten shirt fit for a practitioner in energy medicine.

I don’t often get into Dries on this site; I mean, the brand is hardcore fancy-boy luxe and the prices will sabotage all but the most paunchy of current accounts. But, as I say, right now I’m bongo-headed on tie-dye; I don’t know which way is real. So here you go, a cotton shirt, with large, circular patterns, for £502.

You can’t argue that the patterns aren’t sensational. But of course, as with all runway lines, the brand is fundamental to the pricing policy. If you get off on Dries, £502 might seem reasonable. But if that’s the case, I’ve never met anyone like you.

That said, if someone gave me this psychedelic nonsense for free, I’d wear it. I’d probably toss it on for a group picnic down the park. There I’d be, sitting on the blanket, toying with my celery stick, searing beneath the gaze of my friends in their more humble sweats and tees. And how would I feel? Relaxed and garrulous like a sexy Charles Manson? Or worried that someone will flick hummus at my £502 shirt?

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