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Putting the fun in refund

I’m always suspicious when a pair of trousers is advertised as having a ‘cropped length’. I mean, what length is cropped? After all, cropped for some might be clownish for others. I’d rather just have them longer and if I want to give the hem a couple of rolls or set a tailor on them I can. Too much to play with is easy, too little is a mouth full of dicks.

These YMC numbers over at Garbstore represent just such a quandry. ‘Cropped length’ it says. So cropped length they must be. But it’s difficult to tell from the pictures – they kind of look like normal length trousers to me. If fact they look pretty nice, with a shape that’s suitably balloonish. They’re like the kind of thing David Byrne used to wear in the 80s – dramatic, oversized, verging on the theatrical. Exactly the lifestyle a modern gentlemen should be pursuing.

The checked fabric is coming on hard too. Bounce these off your plainer cottons and let them scribble your narrative. You’re a bro, but ironically. You’re a romantic, allergic to the way of the fist. You’re a man with a mind. A mind that functions best when dealing with low culture, but can also pull off a passible impression of someone who’s seen some Beckett.

Do you dare order them? Cropped length. It’s Russian Roulette for the legs. Perhaps they’ll become your new favourite pair. Or maybe you’ll just end up sulking because your missus unknowingly binned the postage-paid return packaging. So. Much. Fun.

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