White Mountaineering jacket
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White Mountaineering outerwear with a tale to tell

As a look, country ‘n’ western singer meets helicopter rescue crew is broadly underrated. Not so it seems over at Japan’s White Mountaineering. This jacket manages to successfully interpret a hillbilly’s heartbreak when his wife runs away with a paddle steamer captain via the bold plaid. While the strap-heavy utility vest tells the tale of her subsequent fall overboard and winch to safety. It’s the age-old story of love, loss and aquatic rescue.

This entire nail-biting narrative can be yours, assuming you have the requisite shekels and a mind to navigate a south Korean e-tail site. This piece is over at I Am Shop and it’s so expensive I’m not going to dwell on it. Suffice to say your average steam boat captain’s wage ain’t going to shuck this shellfish.

None of which address the fact this this is one mad jacket. The brand is certainly desirable and with London’s Present now closed, there are few places in the UK to get hold of White Mountaineering. But, well… that’s a lot of orange strapping.

I’ve tried to Google Translate the details, but for some reason, it’s failing me today. There’s definitely an ‘under jacket’ and there’s definitely a sort of gilet thing. You can presumably wear them separately. I’m just not sure I’d want to. There was a time, a few years back, where a jacket like this might have given me the big feels. Maybe I’ve just od’ed on utilitarianism, but this just looks a bit ridiculous. A little too costumey. I think if I wore this out to a bar I’d feel awkward. I’d feel on show. I’d feel like one of Janet Jackson’s backing dancers. I expect the other punters would assume I was the fire marshal.

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