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Paraboot: The clothing conversation for people who know nothing about clothing

I imagine, on slow news days, the ‘debate’, such as it is, still rages amongst the denizens of the Daily Express letters page and Loose Women. Socks with sandals, surely not? It’s one of those interesting clothing conversations that seems to attract only people entirely ignorant of clothing.

They say, only geography teachers wear socks with sandals. A statement that is both rooted in some kind of Brexit-style picture-book past, and factually inaccurate.

Socks and sandals are not only worn by geography teachers. Tens of thousands of people wear them. Are they all geography teachers? How many viably employed geography teachers do we have in the UK? And I don’t have the data to hand, but I expect there are some actual geography teachers that don’t wear sandals at all.

I think, unless you’re on a beach, sandals with socks is the only way to go. For me, the male foot is up there with scat parties and close-up footage of a gently distending anus. Queasy and wrong and not the kind of thing you want to see before you tuck into a quesadilla.

These sandals from Paraboot are built for sensible sock wearers. Indeed, there’s so much shoe vs sandal, or rather leather vs hole, they’re barely a sandal at all. Although they still definitely are. So don’t be tempted to go sockless. Remember, you are a troglodyte. The sockless male is quite rightly in constant danger of being mistaken for a farm animal, a were-being, or a pre-sapien — a tranq dart, a cage and invasive scientific probing await.

   

Made from vegetable tanned leather and with a vulcanised rubber sole, this is the Pacific Sandal. Paraboot have been knocking these out for time, but with the weather currently taunting us with its warmth, they feel right for now. These are not as chunky as say a Yuketen sandal, there’s something of a slim European flavour to the silhouette. But I think they’d look strong teamed with a billowing pair of trousers and a rattan bag full of complicated cheeses. And socks. Obviously.

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