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5 sale things I didn’t buy because I ran out of money

As the sales advance, so my spending power retreats. During the last few weeks I’ve bought a number of pieces for myself, while in parallel funding a conveyor-belt of new Simone Rocha and Shrimps accessories for my girl. I’m a busted flush. Yet I keep scouring the sales. I see my remaining savings like an un-pinned grenade. To save myself (and my mortgage payments) I’ve got to throw myself on top of them, accept the pain and leave sale shopping behind.

The nag of the ‘coulda woulda shoulda’ is mine to endure. But the least I can do is share the five things that for one reason or another have evaded my grasp. Maybe you’ll buy one of these picks. And enjoy it. But if you do, never forget I saw it first. I wanted it first. And in many respects, even as you wear it, I’m there clinging onto your back like a haunted rucksack, whispering in your ear that it should have been mine.

Thing 1: Comme des Garçons Homme sweatshirt

Pretty inconspicuous for Comme — which is probably why I like it. Loopback jersey, with underarm polyester panels, it’s only really the royal blue that pops and even that’s an acquired taste. I’m really not one for logos and Comme continues to erode the prestige of their imprint with their ubiquitous PLAY and CDG lines. Still, it is Comme Homme and as such, a much less traveled path. I didn’t buy it because I don’t love it. But I would wear it. It may not make rational sense, but I will never be free of Comme’s unintelligible charisma.



Thing 2: Comme des Garçons Homme trousers

Speaking of which. I very nearly pulled the trigger on these last night; I had the tape measure out and everything. Ultimately it was a disagreement concerning the advertised sizing and a recently deceased Colin The Caterpillar that nixed it. They’re quite cropped too. Another worry. And they’ve got a dropped crotch. A dangerous move.

On the flip, they’re wool and mohair and carry a pleated front. And they’re Comme. I’m a sailor who’s managed to resist the siren’s call but has gone mad in the process. I beg you Comme des Garçons Homme trousers, release me from your eternal song.


Thing 3: Maple ring

Haven have just moved to ‘final sale’ and I’ve been eyeballing this ring for some time. It’s got something of the Jaime Lannisters about it. I’ve already got a nice Tom Wood signet. Plus my nuptuals band. So I don’t need it. So I haven’t bought it. But it’s only £157. And so 1970’s. As I say, I don’t need it. But just look at its bewitching red garnet. Somebody buy this and end my torment.


Thing 4: Decho hat

Made of polyester, lyocell, hemp and the colour orange, this is a lovely squidgy, squashy, puffy looking hat. It’s down to £48 over at the mighty Blue Button Shop.

£48 is a triffling matter. A bag of coins so insignificant I should be using it to swipe my serf around the bonce to punish his impudence, and should some coins fall from my bag, I will release a mighty cheer, bite off another mouthful of pheasent and toss the bag into my roaring fireplace.

What will actually happen is I’ll stare some more at this perfect orange hat, quietly curse my pitiful lot in life and probably go in a mood for a bit.


Thing 5: Studio Nicholson sneakers

I’m cheating here. These aren’t in the sale at all. They’re a new drop from Moonstar over at Studio Nicholson. Again, I don’t need any purple sneakers. But it’s difficult to reconcile the fact that I don’t need them, with the fact that I really want them. Lovely ‘ultra violet’ colour on these. As they’re non-sale, I dare say they’ll be around for a good while yet. Plenty to time to restock the coffers. Unless they sell out? They might sell out. What if they sell out?

Fuck me.

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