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Itten: Incompatible with Facebook

Whooping comedians in cowboy hats; exploding buckets filled with Mentos mints, baking soda and Coke; middle Americans shrieking that masks are actually muzzles: Facebook is a horror show. Even sidelining Zuckerberg’s moral belligerence, it feels done — closer to the cultural irrelevance of MySpace every day.

Of course these opinions aren’t new. But during a lockdown when we’ve all exhausted every entertainment opportunity, anyone can be forgiven for taking a peek back through Facebook’s window.

Here’s a picture of when we were younger. I’m having a glass of wine and it’s only a Tuesday. Carole Baskin’s cover of ‘In Da Club’ is ‘magic,’ declares 50 Cent.

There’s only so much eyerolling you can do. Facebook is truly the Primark of the internet.

Today I was looking for Japanese brand Itten on Facebook. They have a page, but it hasn’t been updated it since 2015. It appears Itten have long known the score. 2015, that’s around the last time Facebook was relevant.

Itten don’t get any play in the UK. Alpha Shadows were the last guys to stock them. Now sadly, those of us on this isle who appreciate the brand’s alchemistic way with design must look to the baffling environs of Japanese retail. And deep within the Digital Mountain (both figurative and literal) you’ll discover these trousers.

Show me a pair of pleated trousers with pockets hanging outside the trouser like this and I refuse to be responsible for my actions. This is Japanese casual-wear at its most arch. Of course pockets work perfectly well inside the trouser, but what if we put them on the outside? The shaping is beautiful; those little zips, a total finesse move.

 

They want £188 for these. Which strikes me as something of a bargain. Four pockets hanging outside your trousers, can you even put a price on that?

For me, in an ideal world, they’d be baggier. But I think I’d just take my chances and size up. They do represent the kind of modernisation I adore — something of a curiosity but nevertheless completely wearable. Bust these out for a Negroni and socially-distanced bowl of Comte fries and you’ll own the spot. Share a pic of them on Facebook and the best you’ll get these days is, “hahah poof :)”

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