I’m a little underwhelmed by the season’s first Engineered Garments drop. I know, right, it’s almost heresy. Maybe I’ve reached peak EG; finally fatigued by fatigues. Although I think it’s more to do with the palette. I get it’s autumn, but all those blacks and stormy prints, they’re making me miserable. Back in semi-lockdown, with shares in bum wipe rising and America’s orange psycho barking on the box, I don’t need any more gloom. It’s probably why I’m sitting here at 7.30am, typing in a ludicrous leopard print Monitaly top, with a ten minute mix of Frankie’s Welcome to the Pleasuredome on loop — a brother’s got to get some positivity from somewhere.
If I was going to drop on some new EG, I’d probably go for this tan and orange checked Loiter. It’s not really me — a bit countryfied, a bit Peter Bowles in To the Manor Born — but at least it’s not grey. Of course it’s ideal for a grouse shoot — fortunately one of the few activities exempt from the ‘rule of six’, courtesy of our ‘man of the people’ Prime Minister. What laughs I could have deliberately coughing on a bunch of poshos, as we blow the heads off some peaceful wildlife.
If you can be bothered to click through and check out the Loiter, you’ll see it’d go extremely well with these shoes. They’re a collaboration with Danner and Snow Peak and are doing good business over on Instagram. You may have seen them already. You may already be bored of them. Sorry about that.
They’re the fourth collaboration between the two brands. Onboard you’ll find Gore-Tex, those little hooks at the top that make lacing marginally quicker, Vibram soles and what they call a “removable mat guard”, which is that kiltie piece that sits over the tongue. Aside from the standard plain laces these shoes come with a second pair of reflector laces. Retailer Digital Mountain explain this is so,”you can change it according to your mood and enjoy a different impression.” Which is bang-on. I have no idea what enjoying a different impression actually means, but henceforth I’m going to insist on it from all my shoes.
I assumed the price of these would be murderous. But they clock in at a reasonable £225. Although I’m not sure my fellow grouse shooters would approve. That’s the great thing about being a posho. You don’t buy new clothes, you just inherit them, then you can sneer at anyone not wearing their grandfather’s brogues. But then poshos inherit everything — houses, land, an unearned sense of superiority, a weird enjoyment in fucking up nature with a 12 bore, and a backward intellect that renders them entirely useless to a modern society.
Chip? Shoulder? Me?