There’s a lot of tie-dye about at the moment. These tops from the professional subversives over at SASQUATCHfabrix move things on a bit. No amateur-hour, done-in-a-bucket-with-elastic-bands job here. These pieces haven’t even heard of Glastonbury. And they’re bold, right. The colours strike you directly on the forehead, quickly followed by an erratic swing at your snout. Camouflage for the Instagram generation. These have defo got a like from me.

There are a couple of colourways: green, light blue and sludge and black, purple and Colman’s. I’d go with the first option myself. Although, I must say, waffle cotton… I dunno, if that’s my speed. Don’t get me wrong, it looks good here. Isn’t it a bit heavy though? I guess it’s meant to breathe. But I can foresee tugging at those long sleeves, while juggling a lager and lime, as a fiery sun steadily turns me into a damp and uncomfortable mess.

Traditionally, you might associate this kind of thing with a macramé lifestyle of wind-chimes, enthusiastic bongo-ing and worshiping some deity with the head, body and legs of a man, and the feet of a wolf. Or a snake with a dog’s legs. Under such circumstances, you could expect a piece like this to offer you some social stand-out. Even if just the occasional perplexed glance. Not so much now though. Currently everyone’s on the patterned tip. These days south east London is so full of tie-dye and Hawaiian prints it’s like a permanent Mardi Gras. Albeit one where everyone has a face like thunder, there’s never any laughter and Boris Johnson is about to be crowned Lord of the Dance.