T-shirts with rude words. A long standing tradition. A staple of so many counter-cultural movements. Who did it first?  Who knows? Who cares? The rude t-shirt is a historical constant, regularly popping up to scream its passion and attempt to shock. Dotted throughout punk, acid house, rock ‘n’ roll and the rest, you’ll spot these wearable billboards. Today, it’s difficult to imagine how they once seemed powerful, anarchic, daring.

What are rude t-shirts now? What are they for? With a digital youth more clued up than the ruling generation (busy working to effect political and environmental change) what’s the point of a t-shirt that  says ‘ass hole’?

Perhaps I’m looking too deeply into this. The one at the top of the page is from Wacko Maria. And look, it’s got the words ‘ass hole’ and a picture of a person with no head. Get it? Me neither. But you have to admit, the Japanese brand is certainly doing everything it can to shock with this piece. Rude slogan aside, the figure is seemingly a nude woman, with a suitably dramatic sprouting of claret emanating from her neck stump. Swearing, violence against women, Giallo-level gore: Wacko Maria aren’t messing about. But then if shock is the only goal, I can easily imagine 1000 more horrifying things they could have stuck on that tee.

Then there’s this one from Union & Company. Again, not sure what this is trying to say. It’s got a bare bottom on it, so, you know, probably best not worn in southern America, you’d probably get lynched. It’s nice to see a reference to the forgotten art of streaking. And the chewing gum is a nice, if pointless, detail. Again though, outside of terrifying the congregation in a Baptist church, I’m struggling to see the point.

Finally, the classic. It’s from the crazy bastards at Wacko Maria again. Look it says ‘fuck’. Hahahahah… what a rude word. Seriously, what purpose does this have? There are no youth culture movements to hang this off. It’s just a relic. An anachronism; peddling obsolete shock to a culture who’ve already seen everything there is to see in their browser windows.

For me these things are pretty desperate – a last gasp at cheap offence, before the entire world is subsumed by AI and climate catastrophe. Perhaps you disagree. Perhaps you find the idea of a t-shirt with a bottom on it to be quite the most outrageous thing you’ve ever seen. In which case go for it. Then plug yourself back into Love Island and gurgle yourself to sleep – I hear the one with the hairy back has just stuck his thumb up his own arse.