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Ambush: Deliveroo for t-shirts?

Are you Deliveroo-ing your groceries? As the kind of paranoid/sensible individual continuing to lead life under 85% lockdown, getting supplies from key-tap to doorstep in 20 minutes is invaluable. It’s not just corner shop stuff either. M&S is on there, as well as Morrisons and Co-Op have just expanded their range of dubious looking puddings. Of course the corner-shop connoisseur is still catered for — I can even get a Ginsters delivered from my local Shell garage – but for me the revelation is the standard kitchen produce.

I’m surprised there hasn’t been a Guardian ‘culture’ piece on this phenomenon. I’m equally surprised no one’s extended the service to t-shirts.

The last few days have been too hot. No debate. Just too hot. Many run giggling to the park before realising it’s too hot and sloping back in tears. Others, like me, immediately realise it’s too hot and hole up in the coldest room in the house with a six-pack of Magnum Minis. Either way, it’s too hot. Hence t-shirt delivery.

I think there’s a market for it. Exclusively amongst the sensible and stylewise. Of course, it wouldn’t be for everyone. For example, the kind of bloke who’d wear a vest in public would not order a nice tee on Deliveroo. But then of course such an individual is comfortable looking like a sexual predator. (I’ve only met one man who can wear a vest with any dignity; my friend Matt, is so delicate and polite it’s impossible to imagine him watching office girls eat their lunch through a telescope.) No, I see Deliveroo t-shirts as a service for the enlightened and, based on this t-shirt, the crazy rich.

This pink checkerboard is by Ambush. They’re one of those uber-luxe Japanese streetwear brands that sells necklaces made out of bike chains for three grand. Normally I don’t trouble Ambush, but this design made me wonder if it’s be any use in this heat. It looks a bit thick, but on the other hand, those light hues would reflect the sun; a bit; at least I think they might.

Actually looking at it again, it’s looks like a short-sleeved sweatshirt. Which would be useless in this weather. I’ve wasted everyone’s time. Still, t-shirt delivery? For five hot days a year, there might be a viable business in that.

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