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Death to Tennis: One million would do it

Yesterday I asked my mother-in-law for a million pounds. I explained that I do enjoy my job, it’s just that I think I’d enjoy lockdown much more if I could just give it up and spend my days watching TV and eating M&S caramel crispy bites. She laughed so loudly she couldn’t hear me reading out my HSBC details. Thing is, she’s got a couple of bob. She probably wouldn’t miss it.

I’ve often thought that if rich people knew how happy it’d make me if they simply gave me a million pounds, they’d be lining up. I’m not greedy, one million would do it. I’d say goodbye to the mortgage, buy this yellow blazer and snuggle in for a Vera marathon.

Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t consider a bright yellow blazer. But to quote the American author Russell Lynes, “…the only thing that is more to be guarded against than bad taste is good taste.” And with a lump of cash in the bank and nothing to do except complete Netflix, what would taste even matter.

This blazer is from the SS20 collection from Death to Tennis, the New York brand with a global eye for influence. Double breasted, 100% linen, half lined — pretty standard stuff until you factor in the retina-melting hue. The pocket detail is worth a mention though. Look at the overlap between the standard front pocket and what Death to Tennis call a ‘lazy kangaroo’ pocket. Factor in the boxy cut and the piece feels pleasingly current.

As you can see, the brand offers matching trousers too. But I think I’d wear the blazer alone — mixing it in with a pale blue grandad tee and some billowing pastel pink trousers. With a million quid in the bank I could finally explore my Miami Vice fantasies. I’d probably go on patrol around Asda, stakeout Sports Direct and when the sun dips, I’d just hang outside a local Peckham pub smoking and squinting at no one in particular. If things got a bit tasty, I’m sure I could quickly leg it in my ice-white espadrilles.

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