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The Nerdys: a world of hurt

What a week.

I’m having what can politely be described as ‘tummy troubles’. After a phone appointment with my doc I’m prescribed dried apricots. Ever had one? It’s like eating something that’s washed up on a beach.

Then I’ve got my sister sending me WhatsApp videos of my infant nephew having his ‘biffy baff’. My fucking eyes! Why would my sister send me footage of a small boy’s knob bobbing in bubble bath?

To round it off, after hours of back and forth, my girl and I finally agreed to buy an armchair on Vinterior. Then we spotted the extra £150 it’d cost to deliver from the Czech Republic. So that’ll be a grand for a chair designed by some dude with a name like a spilt bag of Scrabble tiles.

What a week of piss.

It makes me want to do something stupid, like lash out 180 quid on a shirt with a silly pocket that I definitely don’t need.


This is by The Nerdys in collaboration with Future Made Studios. Green, long and with an adjustable round collar. It’s Action Man’s choice for a date with Barbie  — military strong, but still vulnerable: “the toughest thing in whole world is the human heart… etc…”

I like the dangly laces at the neck, and while I question the practicality of what is basically a soft cotton wallet masquerading as a pocket, the whole thing looks pretty cool. But really, my heart’s not in it. I’m rage shopping. I’ve been eating All Bran for days, I’m back to square one with the armchair and I’ve just discovered that the ‘small boy in the bath’ video has been shared to all my devices. Even buying unnecessary clothing can’t take away this hurt.

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