Doubtless there is an entirely sensible reason why these trousers tie up at the knee. Some practical application. Some purpose.

I’m in the dark. To the infantile brain they appear to be a monstrous hybrid of court jester and incontinence pant. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen trousers like this being sold in the back pages of a Sunday supplement.

That said, I am prepared to accept I’m wrong. The provenance is Japanese brand Kapital and the seller is NYC’s Blue in Green  — neither organisation typically concerns itself with the involuntary passing of urine.

So, ignoring the freak-show thigh-ties, what have we here? “Jumbo cargo pants” apparently. Made from ripstop cotton and nylon, with a couple of healthy front pleats and bedazzled with Kapital’s usual nutso approach to pocketing and fastenings. Puzzling stuff  — they actually look like a puzzle. What are all those silver-trimmed danglers for? They’re not belt loops? Or are they? As much as I enjoy the re-imagining of vintage clothing, I do sometimes wish they’d come with an instruction manual.

When left to flap free, these have an appealing billow  — a good amount of bagginess with a sensible taper. I’m not entirely sold on the whole medieval coin thing around the waist, it looks like Turkish National Costume. And the fact that I have no idea what they’re for doesn’t help. Do you hang things off them? Your keys? Your wallet? A protein bar? All I know is that it’ll cost you £359 to find out.