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Twitching with silent fury

The rigours of geometry and the florid concerns of fashion are not natural bedfellows. Yet here we find New York based imprint Bode combining the two into what can reasonably be referred to as a denim spreadsheet. Superficially they’re a pair of trousers. Yet simultaneously a wearable board game. Quite an achievement for a thing of cloth and thread.

There’s no dressing these down. They may retail over at Alpha Shadows (purveyor of earth toned, obscure utilitarianism) but there’s nothing workman-shaped about these. They haven’t seen a day’s labour in their life, nor are they likely to. These are trousers for the nuclear-dandy. The kind of being for whom a detox in St Moritz is just a phone call to daddy away.

The completist may wish to know that Bode is all about rescuing vintage fabrics and turning them, by hand, into new objects of desire. And here we’ve got lovely looking washed denims and antique cotton twill. Onboard there are a couple of front slant pockets and a patch pocket round the back. There’s also a cinch to nip in the fit just so and a button fly. None of which is surprising, or to be blunt, all that relevant when considering a pair of trousers such as this.

There’s only one reason a man will wear these and that’s to achieve maximum outré. The scene is your Grandmother’s funeral. You’re in a double-breasted navy blazer, undone. Your giant blonde quiff is somersaulting in the breeze. You’re wearing these glamorous trousers. The mood is sober, but your relatives can’t conceal their disapproval. Grimacing faces. Twitching with silent fury. It reminds you of the conclusion to The Graduate. You shrug, before dragging the exotic dancer you came with to Tiger Tiger for a very personal wake.

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