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I’m ashamed

My girl’s been away for three days, at a hen do in Barcelona. Yesterday I got so bored I ate her Easter egg. It was a big Smarties one. I ate it all in one go. I’m ashamed. But it was nice.

Now I have two issues to face. I haven’t told my girl yet, so there’s her disappointment – much more painful than anger don’t you think. And my broadening waistline. Is it bad that I’m more concerned about the latter than the former?

I could do with a pair of these comfortable looking trousers. They’re by Ohh! Nisica and available over at Strato in a sort of gangster pyjama flavour and a regular bloke pyjama flavour. Look at the dude at the top of the page. He’s really wearing those pyjama trousers. I suspect I’d look more One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. But at least I’d be comfortable.

There’s actually a zip fly and a proper top button onboard, as well as the expected drawstring closure. So even if you were having a porky day, you could zip the fly half-up, ignore the button and loosely tie yourself in – as long as you lop a long tee over your semi-indecent groin you’ll pull it off.

They’re cotton/poly, with a loose leg and, well, they’re clearly in the territory of ‘house trousers’ you can get away with down the shop. Not sure if this is a step too far? I’m all for a beaded necklace and the odd bangle, but I don’t know if I’m ready to go full Lebowski? I’ve got a proper job. I’m a grown man. I’ve got responsibilities. Which reminds me. Got to hit up Asda, see if they’ve any bargain-bucket eggs on the blend.

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