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Giant denim waist basket

This is not a sexy piece of clothing. It’s not even mildly sensual. Take this top for dinner and you can expect the conversation to revolve around Arya Starks’ kill list and whether Rey might be a Skywalker after all. Important topics no doubt. But unlikely to fly in the kind of provincial wine bar that believes chrome, leather and inflated prices is somehow sophisticated. The Kardashian-themed ladies in such places (I’m generalising here, but based from experience) appear to value exaggerated musculature, an excessively moisturised face and block-headed misogyny above all. A thoughtful bro wearing a denim pregnancy harness is not high on their hit-list.

Still, assuming you’ve got the cerebral chops to reject traditional stereotypes of sexiness, this is a big piece. It’s from Snow Peak and is designed with camping in mind. Although, as with most premium utilitarian casualwear, you’d have to be pretty reckless (or mindlessly rich) to actually wear the thing while doing the thing it was designed for. The brand Sassafras might be inspired by gardening, but I’m not going to wear a £300 jacket while troweling wild onions out my lawn.

The make up is indigo dyed ring back Japanese jersey. There’s the Americano style “V” insert at the neck. And of course, what looks like three giant pockets on the waist. I could see it being damn useful for DIY: screws, rawlplugs and tape measure within easy reach. But if I got a smear of Briwax on it, I’d have ballsed my world. So for me, a piece like this would be strictly about form, not function. After all, there have to be girls out there whose eyes are turned by a man with a giant denim waist basket.

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