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Navigating the obstacles of a sofa-hopping Yuletide

Japanese brand Sassafras produce clothing inspired by (and presumably intended for) gardening. Utilitarianism dominates, with pockets, snap buttons, hanging tabs and more pockets, littering shirts, jackets, trousers and, as we see here, vests. Horticulture might be the original design intention, but for me, this piece would also be extremely useful while navigating the obstacles common to a traditional sofa-hopping Yuletide.

Available in navy 60/40 cotton nylon, or (a mildly festive) Blackwatch in cotton nylon ripstop,  we’re talking boxy cut, chunky button front and a neat round collar; style-wise, it’s on point. But it’s the giant, front-to-back pocket arrangement that brings the biggest win. There are four pockets, ideal for thieving packets of Rolos from your corner shop, or, as I suggest, helping to swerve festive annoyances.

If you’re visiting family this year, if you’re all lying around your parents house, playing board games, watching dreadful TV and being roped into assembling a plastic robot for a potentially seismic nephew, this vest will come into its own. As multiple relatives ‘accidentally’ run off with each others phone chargers, headphones and those little adapters that enable you to use normal wired headphones in newer iPhones, you can have all your tech safely strapped about your person. Your smokes, lighter, wallet, purple Roses… all the accoutrements you can easily mislay as you pop round your gran’s for a slice of Battenberg, or give way on the sofa for the inevitable Pixar marathon, they’ll all be safe in your vest.

If this all sounds trivial, it’s not meant to. When I’m in the middle of building an Avengers Lego playset and I notice my phone needs a charge, I want to know I can charge it immediately. If someone has ‘borrowed’ my shit, things are going to get real wrong, real quick. Suffice to say the Quinjet is going to remain in bits. Hawkeye will have to take the bus.

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