What’s this about then? It’s a holster bag, which you attach to your belt and your thigh and then… just… you know… Yeah, it’s pretty ridiculous. It’s like a really, really tasteful piece of gay fetish wear. Which is appropriate, because if you wore it you’d look like a prize anus.

It’s by the laid-back Mountain Research and stocked by none-more-dudeish Garbstore, so you know, even though it’s called a ‘holster’, this is strictly no alla violenza.  But assuming it’s less about the AKs and more about the YKKs – what you gonna zip up in that thing? What do you carry in a pacifist’s holster? Vape? Keys? Rubber Jonathans? What’s so important that you’d strap an extra layer of pocketing to your person?

I’m all for progressive style. I’m all for prodding at the edges of modern dress, but seriously…  It’d surely make you look like a money-belted German holiday maker – but not as cool. The practical application, as illustrated, appears to be, wear some trousers with pockets on them, then strap on this set of pockets over the top, thus rendering the ones beneath awkward to use. Not sure they thought this through?

Or maybe I just don’t get it. Either way, not getting it will also remain my transactional preference.