If I could just be in Japan. Just be there. Immediately. It’s unlikely, because I’m sitting in Peckham. But it’d be real handy if I was just there. Now. Without the walk, wait, bus, wait, train, wait, plane, wait, train, walk bit in the middle. If I was in Japan, I could buy these shoes.

But having taken stock of my surroundings, I’m still sitting in front of my Mac in Peckham. I’m nowhere nearer to Japan. I’m not sure I expected to be if I’m honest. It’s all a bit annoying really. Because I want these shoes. And they’re only in Japan. But they were made in Northampton.

I’m not sure what makes the girlies go pop-pop more than a dude in a pair of shoes with a kilt on them. I’m pretty confident that having a Scotchman’s dress hanging off the front of all footwear is the way to go.

And as I say, they’re made in Northampton, by Trickers for Engineered Garments. And I can’t buy them. Because this site, won’t ship to the UK. What’s the point of that? What’s the point of telling you they’re 79,000 Yen quid? What’s the point of saying they’re insanity with a sole?

There is no point. So enjoy these pictures of shoes you’ll never own. And goodbye.