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The hot girl’s sarcastic best mate

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I’m feeling plain T-shirts right now. Not in a tactile sense, I mean, I’ve felt them, they’re just sort of cottony. I’m on about something more profound. A spiritual requirement if you will. A necessity. Like the basic human need for warmth, shelter and reliable WiFi.

The plain T is the thing, because the patterned blazer is the thing. And an all-over patterned jacket needs a solid foundation – something in grey, navy or white. Clashing up a decorated blazer with a decorated undershirt is asking for the kind of sartorial bedlam at home on a Vegas illusionist. So unless your workplace colleagues regularly try to eat your hands, step the fuck away. For me, this summer, the patterned jacket is the star, while the plain T’s gets the supporting role. Your blazer bags the hot girl, your T-shirt acts goofy and has a love/hate relationship with the hot girl’s sarcastic best mate, who’s still kind of attractive, but maybe has a mole or a bit of a round face.

Which is a long as balls way of saying plain T-shirts look best with patterned jackets. And here are some patterned jackets.

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They’re all Engineered Garments. They are all available at The Bureau. And they’ve all just gone on sale.

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I’d totally bust any of these. But I’d keep it casual, totally dressed down with loose jeans, or chinos. You’re going for charismatic beachcomber, not Ravi Shankar’s dad. I’d accessorise with a yard of beads, a woodbine and a little trolley filled with driftwood and crabs legs. Consider it an antidote to that whole Baywatch, hunky beach body thing that, as you well know, girls are like totally bored of.

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