You know when you’re browsing the sales and you find something you like? But then you notice there’re loads of them left. In every size and all the colours. Is that good or bad?

On one hand I think… good. I don’t care. I like it. Good. I’m glad these haven’t sold. Other people just don’t get this. I’m tearing up the forwardness. I’m killing the steez. I can’t even believe I doubted myself. It must be that subconsciously, I don’t realise how much ‘The Man’ I am.

Yup. That’s what I think.

Until I think… but. There’s loads of these left. What does everyone know that I don’t? Why does everyone think these are shit and I don’t? Why has no one else bought this? Why I am walking up to the counter with this shit? Why am I pulling out my wallet? Oh Christ, I’ve just paid for something everyone thinks is shit. I buy shit. I’m shit. Shit.

I definitely also think that.

But I don’t think this cardigan is shit. When I bought it, about two months ago, there were loads left over at Present. In all the colours. Indeed, I thought this knitwear had set up permanent residence in Present’s sale section. Until I looked today and oddly they all appear to have vanished.

It doesn’t have any pockets, which is a mild-bummer, but I really like the Thom Browne-lite, red, white and blue stylings. Fortunately, as it’s from William Fox and Son, it doesn’t sport Thom’s warlike pricing policy. I knobbled mine for £90.

I’m also busting Banana Republic chinos. If indeed it’s possible for a man to ‘bust’ a generic, US mall brand. Although, I did have these tailored for a slightly more interesting, baggy-to-slim vibe.

The rest of my east London, standard issue outfit embraces the very essence of a Folk woven belt and the rakish, debonairness of some Oliver Spencer, green suede Derby shoes.

Is it irresponsibly wack to say I’m wearing a Cos shirt? What do people think of Cos? I usually drop on around three office-basics from Cos a season. Although, I can’t help thinking that it’d be more interesting if the H&M Supremacy launched a version of hip-chick magnet & Other Stories… for bros.

Anyway, it’s a two-tone denim Cos shirt. And I’m wearing it. I don’t love it or anything… What do you mean, you’ve seen loads still in the sale? What do you mean no one wants them?