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No accounting for idiocy

These Beams Plus trousers look alright. I had a pair just like them from Engineered Garments Workaday – you’re probably familiar with the style. They did exactly the same job as these: hardwearing, loose fit, good number of robust pockets. What they didn’t do was cope especially well with me being an idiot.

I was in a pool bar in Bristol. I was leaning against the bar ordering a round. I turned to take my drinks and realised my trousers were stuck to the bar. No I hadn’t seen the wet paint sign. No I wasn’t happy with the large black marks all over the front of my EG trousers. No the paint never came off. Those trousers are now shorts. Which leaves a loose-green-trouser shaped hole in my wardrobe.

In Japan Beams is a bit mainers. Readily available. Not especially niche. In the UK, it just about remains interesting. Most of the buys in the UK seem to be pretty generic: madras checked shirts, slim chinos, stripy tees; very post prep and not particularly noteworthy. So it’s pleasing to see these. Yes, they’re basics, but at least they’re not fitted, at least they’ve got a bit of room in them. These days you’ve got to have a decent amount of hem flap.

So standard are these that there’s not that much to say. If you’re reading this you’ve probably already got something like this in your armoury. And rightly so. Still, gaffs do happen. It only takes one buffoonish mishandling of wet paint, ink, chilli sauce or super glue. And while (thankfully) rare, the combination of a large Indian dinner and one-to-ten ‘bad’ pints can still provoke that most shameful of occurrences, ‘the public rottering’. It’s good to have a back-up pair is what I’m saying.

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