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Easy to pull on, difficult to pull off

I’ve become anaesthetised to the term ‘easy pants’. So frequent is its use across the menswear sites I enjoy, it no longer raises an eyebrow. For a chap brought up in the Midlands it’s quite an achievement. By rights I should be Debenhams wearing, 2.5 kidded, cul-de-sac dwelling, middle manager who’s only just started The Sopranos boxset and never shuts up about it. I’d probably be a knuckle-headed Brexit-liker too. But no, years ago I dragged myself out the Birmingham, Coventry and Wolverhampton basin and now look at me. I’m comfortable calling ‘trousers’ ‘pants’ and everything.

And these are some pants. From Nonnative, they aren’t wasting anyone’s time; if you’re into trousers with flowers on then, “good morning sir, 32 waist is it?”, if not, you should probably do one.

This power-pant comes in three different flavours (navy, beige and charcoal). But really, it’s all about the blossom. If the only time you wear a flower is when it’s pinned to your All Saints blazer at a wedding, you’re clocking the wrong lifestyle brah. These are for libertines and popinjays only. Guys with a fearless approach to their dry goods. Because be assured, these easy pants might be easy to pull on, but they’re difficult to pull off.

I guess there are a couple of ways you can go with a pant like this. Either co-ordinate: navy flowery pants; plain navy jacket; navy tee and perhaps white sneakers. Or go full clash: toss on a camo jacket; some kaleidoscopic kicks; a giant sun hat and then try and wrestle your personality from beneath your flex.

If it sounds as though I’m down on these, I’m entirely not. I think they’re totally sane. I’m not sure how I’d wear them. I just know that I would. At least I would in London. In a Lichfield boozer I’d expect loud verbal abuse from the local alpha – before he follows me into the urinal and whispers that his wife doesn’t understand him while staring at my knob.

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