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Disgraceful male specimen

It’s sad is what it is. That a man of my years would see the brand of these Japanese underpants and immediately think that it sounds like “an a poo”. It’s actually Anapau. It’s probably pronounced ‘anna-pow’. But still… it could be that in Japan it’s a bit like bum cream brand Anusol? In that it’s a portmanteau of two words. In this case, ‘anal’ and ‘poo’, but spelt ‘pau’ and without the ‘l’?

Hello, I’m an infant.

What these actually are is block colour underpants, from the doubtless respected brand Anapau. I don’t often remark on underpants here. Shamefully I really don’t consider them much. While I can agonise over selvedge detailing on a VISVIM jacket or the purity of simple vulcanised sneakers, I rarely spent much time thinking about pants. Like many disgraceful male specimens, I have donned an old pair for the day only to discover an unwanted orifice round the back. A giant, impromptu, butt-centric peep-hole. A peep-hole my girl seems uninterested in peeping in.

It’s such moments that lead a man to refresh his draw of drawers. Hence Anapau. I have to say, I’m less inclined to proxy-service myself obscure underpants, than, say, a rare jacket or kicks. But for the truly hardcore, for the guy who insists on 100% imported-brand-coverage perhaps a few pairs of these will do the trick.

Thinking about the practicalities for a second, they surely appear to be up to the job of keeping your bits and bobs in check. They’re colourful certainly, but with a 95% cotton and 5% polyurethane mix, they would at least be structurally sound. I can’t however speak to their allure. They’re so fancy they’re basically male lingerie. I mean, should you advance on your partner in these, like some kind of frenzied harlequin, who knows how you’ll be received?

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