I remain resistant to the concept of the sandal. I don’t own any. I’ve never worn any. And yet there are two influences which may combine to finally push me into sandalism. Firstly, the sun’s starting to poke out. Secondly I’m convinced sandals are one of the few footwear choices that’ll work with my Needles tracksuit bottoms. I’m convinced of this by my frequent examinations of Needles look-books, where outside of clogs (demonstrably absurd) sandals seem the go-to choice. Of course, I’m staunchly against all public displays of the male foot (I’m not a barbarian) so they’d have to work with socks too. Socks, sandals and tracksuit bottoms… Sadly, it’s all starting to make sense. So either I’m a nitwit trend slave, or just completely bereft of personal taste. Or I suppose, both.

Irrespective of your sandal position, you have to agree these White Mountaineering numbers have got it going on. At least in the sense that they’ve got the audacity to charge over 300 coins for something your nan would wear for a walk down the canal. Ever seen the Reese Witherspoon yarn Wild? There’s a load of bros wearing these in that. Least I think there was. I can’t be bothered to re-watch and check. It was quite slow.

Anyway, for the tech-heads there’s elastane and spandex onboard, and Vibram foam outsoles. It’s just the pattern right? A bit much? I think they’d suit a straggle-haired, perma-tan, adventure tourist. You know, New Zealand accent, extremely enthusiastic, enjoys a bong, plays a fucking piccolo, eats spiders.