Since 2009 scientists have been using the Large Hadron Collider to try and create a portal like this. It seems Japanese casualwear fanatics Yaeca have beaten them to it. Look at the neck on this. It’s a gaping aperture to supersymmetric theory. Stick your head through it and you’re accelerating into a quantum shambles of baryons, dark matter and quizzical glances down Wetherspoons.
For some, this is always going to resemble a yawning salmon about to swallow your head. The more enlightened – by which I mean, impressionable, Japanese label slaves like me – will see a deliberately subversive and accidentally practical play on proportions. Oh come on, look at it. It’s so clean and furry, look at those colour matching zips. It’s the kind of ridiculous that demands of the wearer a straight face and an completely earnest demeanour. Don’t try and joke this thing off. You’ve got to rock it deadpan. Try and laugh it off and string theory will unravel.
As with most Yaeca pieces it doesn’t come cheap. This particular streetwear experiment will run you £266. A figure even the eggheads at CERN may struggle to quantify.