If the lack of a collar on this city-boy striped shirt wasn’t enough to establish its casual credentials, the makers have stuck a carabiner on the front. What safety-critical elements need to be attached to a baggy, stripy shirt is unclear? I can only assume keys. Perhaps having a fist-full of jangly metal dangling off your left tit is the new not having a fist-full of jangly metal dangling off your left tit? No one told me.
This lunacy comes from And Wander, Japanese makers with one eye on style and the other on outdoorsiness. Typically the brand plays about with camo and breathable, waterproof fabrics, to produce stuff that’s as good for fell walking as it is squatting on a knotty-wooden bench cursing a cafe’s piss-poor wi-fi. But this is a weird one. The strictly-business stripe, modged with the collarless, carabiner vibing? It’s Alan Sugar lost and alone on Devil’s Peak. Or Bear Grylls grinning as he makes intolerable, baby-tycoons sob.
I do like it though: if that wasn’t completely crystal. I find vaguely justifiable, brand ethos driven nonsense amusing, and this utterly impractical carabiner is certainly that. Of course, it’s a damn fine shirt too. There’s 52% Linen and 48% Coolmax polyester in the mix, vents under the arms, some nice pocket detail and a reflective logo thing on the lower left. Which would presumably help rescuers locate Sugar up a mountain. Perhaps the makers should have left that off.
Why are you sweating like a suburban lawn sprinkler?
Don’t know, but it can’t be the polyester in my shirt because that’s called Coolmax.
Hmmmmm. How’s the refund on your timeshare coming on?
(Do people still buy timeshares? Or did that stop when selling pictures door to door finished too?)