Check this cuddly-wuddly, cartoon-style sweat. Reminds me of deviant, grown-up guys who like to dress up like babies and pay a ‘mummy’ to tan their bums and let them suckle? This shit’s for them. Wearing this, they can have little shorts on and a dinky school cap and sit under a tree and get read stories and have their ears tickled, before ‘mummy’ goes to town on them with a 12 inch rubber dick.

Appropriate then, that it’s from the label CREEP. I can’t help it, I look at this and see a fully grown businessman in a nappy. It’s so chunky and thick – like an infant’s scribble of a shirt. The wash is pretty freaky too. Like the kid tried to colour it in, but their felt pen ran out.

What do I know. It’d probably look pretty cool on. I’ve got to fill this space with something. And spanky-botty business-blokes who gone done a poo is as good as anything.