If, like me, your day isn’t complete without a well-meaning, attempt at wardrobe humour, you’re in the right place. The other day, a guy I know said to me…

“Did you fall off a motorbike and have to patch your jacket up?” Which was hilarious, because at the time I was wearing a jacket with some stitching detail on the front.

“I like it, do they do it for men?“, is another of my favourites. It’s brilliant because it suggests I’m wearing women’s clothes.

Another classic is, “ha ha, they’ll certainly see you coming in that.” This one’s especially ingenious, because it implies your clothing is quite noticeable. I’m pretty sure, if you were to buy the above jacket someone might say that to you. Think how much fun that would be.

French brand Brooklyn We Go Hard, is mostly known in the UK for its bold sweatshirting. However, this heavy wool jacket (in three colourways) has just dropped large over at Present.

This woollen turquoise, black, ecru and gold bouillabaisse is straight-up knock-out. It’s a middle finger to brothermen comfortable to ride out the winter in an also-ran navy chore. That said, you’d have to team this with pretty neutral trousers, kicks and knitwear – you don’t want your anatomy hosting all-out pattern warfare. Check the alt tonalities…

These are all some wild-shit. My money’s on the first one though. If you’re gonna go all-out ludicrous, you may as well get the job fully did. Interestingly, these jackets come with a lifetime guarantee that on a weekly basis someone will say, “What happened to you, an accident in a paint factory?” You can’t ask for more than that.