So what’s your jacket called? Has it got a name? I don’t mean a cutesy name you’ve come up with, like you’d give a pet, or a house, or how you call your peen ‘The Domesticator’. I mean a title. An official model name. The Ark Air range have the best names ever. The ‘Tundra’. The ‘Shard’. And my personal favourite, the ‘Dispersion’. ‘Dispersion’ – that’s just some magnificent shit. I suppose, you’d hope the title isn’t too literal. Obviously, you don’t want to be dispersing any hunnies before you’ve had a chance to release ‘The Domesticator’. You gotta be able to get your pash-on with your fash-on.

Prepare yourself, for the ‘Dispersion’…

It’s certainly some mad-ass jacketing, but it’s also hardwired with enough sensible deets to provide maximal practicalness too. It’s got a ripstop cotton outer, wired hood, twin needled underarm seam, storm flap, adjustable drawcord waist, cuff adjustment, two large boxed pockets and two zipped document pockets. Check the pattern variants…

Ark Air is a relatively new sub-brand under the Arktis umbrella. Arktis have, for 30 years, been weaving-up battle-ready garms for the world’s most nails military and special forces . And the Ark Air range is formulated ‘with the same ethos in mind’. But presumably, focused on more day-to-day combat situations, like having a spare pocket to stow your wack-ass Nokia and a hood to throw-up, so you can pretend you haven’t seen that vagrant with his hand out.

I think these are all sorts of fire. Clock the range over at Present. And no, I don’t call my wang ‘The Domesticator’. It’s ‘Mr Domesticator’ to you.