I sometimes pity blokes who have to ‘dress up’ for work. I’m not talking about tailors at Huntsman, or walleted, GQ-sheep in financial services. I’m talking about average, work-a-day, norms. Guys in middle-management and just below. Guys for whom style is just something that happens to other people. I’m talking about guys who wear shoes like these…

These are blokes for whom ‘mediocre’ is the goal. Guys whose greatest sartorial ambition is to not stand out. Unfortunately for them, the look above and its predictable accessories (a pastel shirt that strains at the gut – with some ghastly floral print on the inside of the collar – a blazer that needs the sleeves taken up and some ‘wacky’ patterned socks) has actually become the focus of amusement. As the patrons of Jeans and Sheuxsss and others are already aware.

But, the nature of ‘smart casual’ means its ‘rules’ are open to interpretation. And let’s remember, there are loads more wacklords, like our friend up there, in management, than there are fans of Han Kjobenhavn. So, in most meeting rooms, what’s ‘business-appropriate’ is defined by those with the least aptitude for the task. Stuff that gets a big tick includes thin-soled pointy shoes, dog-shit H&M trousers and fucking Dell laptop bags. Rucksacks (irrespective of their heat) get a cross.

Long as balls meander, I know. Particularly, as all I really have to say is that this killer Master-Piece bag is a rucksack and sort of a briefcase thing.

It’s got back handles and hand handles see? You can business with it and casual with it. So, you know, eat it pointy shoes guy.