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Gonna have to learn palmistry and glassblowing

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I fucking hate queuing for holistic candles. I just want to nip in and grab a cheeky couple of Tranquilities, but the line’s always five deep. And of course, the idiots in front can’t just order a simple Lavender or Bluebell, they want Pomegranate and Mint, or Raspberry and Quince and it’s got to be in recycled glass. Then there are the fucklords who dawdle with the menu. “The limeleaf and ginger, is that Indonesian or Cambodian Limeleaf?” “The Chakra candle set with essential oils, which oils are those exactly?

There should be one queue for people wanting basic candles and another for the timewasters. It’s like they’ve never been in a place that sells essential essences before.

I think this cardigan is the solution. If any dude is going to get served first in an aromatherapy environment, it’s gonna be a brah that looks like he speaks to nature.

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You’re looking at the 100% indigo dyed cotton fabric of a Tigre Brocante cardigan. I’m all sorts of about that Thai influenced patchwork. And it’s got fucking beads on it brah. I don’t know if I’m swerving disastrously into Jack Johnson x VISVIM x spiritual naturalism territory. I’m probs gonna have to learn palmistry and glassblowing. I can’t help myself, this just seems like a game changing piece to me.

I mean, just look at it. It’s a bongo-bongo party of a bongo-fucking-bongo party. Hella fucking craftsmanship, insane patchwork – people will look at you weird if you DON’T accessorise this with a beard of bees.

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I don’t believe in spirituality. But if it was a thing… (It isn’t a thing, it’s made up rubbish.) But if it wasn’t… (It is…) but if it wasn’t… This cardigan would be it. It is spirituality. In fact, I think I can safely say, there is as much scientific proof to support the idea that this cardigan literally is spirituality, as there is to support the tenents of spirituality period. And if it gets me to the front of the candle queue, you know, that’s cool too.

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