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Scribbling bilge on a site about men’s dudery

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Imagine that certain fictional characters were real – the Hulk say, and Thor, Captain America and Jesus. Now imagine you had a man-sized blender and you could put each of these characters into the blender. Then imagine you blend them and drink a glass of them. (Yes, yes, I know the Hulk has ridiculous healing properties and Thor’s basically a God and Jesus, well, Jesus can make Filet-O-Fishes appear or some shit. But let’s assume the blender has Adamantium blades and go from there.) Basically, if you drank a glass of Hulk would you get Hulk powers? If you drank a pint of Jesus, could you turn your own piss back into Beck’s?

I maintain that in the case of the Hulk and Captain America, you would probably absorb some of the biological properties (Gamma, Super-Solider Serum) and you’d get a small amount of their power. However Thor and Jesus get their abilities from spirituality and magic and stuff, so if you drank them, you’d probably just feel queasy.

If this detour into science proves anything, it’s that some stuff is real and tangible and some stuff is all about wizardy, crazy-ass voodoo. This shirt is an example of the latter…

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Basically, this shirt hocus-pocuses your ass into believing. Believing what exactly? Well, that long shirts are totally a thing. That they look, sort of, cool. And that maybe you should get one. Personally, I’m not sure I’m ready for this step. But I’ve got a beastly sensation that maybe I should be? Maybe I should be rocking this nightshirt shit right now? And because I’m not, maybe I have no right to be scribbling bilge on a site about men’s dudery?

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Look at this fucking brah. He’s owning that length. There’s not a prayer mat in sight, he’s just gone full boil wash on his denims and stuck a daft hat on.

It’s by Needles, apparently overdyed in pen ink and teaming with mother of pearl buttons. You can get one in your life at Gentry. I mostly like the fact that this monster combines two key trends, the over-long thing and the popover thing. It’s double-fash-fash for your dollar. Come to think of it, it does look a bit like something Jesus would wear. You know, if he wasn’t made up.

 

 

2 Comments

  1. Hello there! This post could not be written much better!
    Reading through this article reminds me of my previous
    roommate! He constantly kept talking about this.
    I will forward this article to him. Fairly certain he’s going to
    have a good read. Thank you for sharing!

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