comment 0

Unexpected item in bagging area


This jacket manages to create a problem. Then solve that problem. Then use as a selling point, the fact that it solves a problem of its own making. It’s a bit like designing a beautiful, non-flushing toilet and banging on about how each lav comes with a free pair of plop-gloves.

There’s no zip on the front of this jacket. There aren’t any entry buttons either…


It’s what’s known as a pop-over. You have to climb in from the bottom, scale the interior and celebrate a successful ascent by thrusting one’s head through the upper orifice. Well done, you’re successfully within the garment. But, this is the problem. While it makes for a clean, bold finish to have no zip or fastener on the front, to put it on, you actually have to clamber up it. If you want to take it off, you have to undertake a descent. It’s a monstrous faff…

That’s why there’s a zip on the back…


Over at The Bureau, they sell it by calling it a, “full back zip for ease of getting on and off.” It just makes me think, sooner or later, I’d have to ask another bro to unzip me. Not mad on that, it’s all a bit Mrs Robinson, a bit too Margo Leadbetter… I don’t really want to have to tap up some broseph to help knead me out my fucking coat.

parka3 parka2 parka4 parka5

It’s Engineered Garments, so consequently, I actually really want this. Unfortunately, at the moment I’m a little fiscally submissive. Suppose I could just twiddle about on The Bureau site? Just minding my own business, putting things in my basket, taking things out my basket… I might find an unexpected item in my bagging area. It might be this coat. I might accidentally buy it and accidentally find myself 436 gold pieces short for my rent. I might accidentally get evicted. But I’d have this coat. I could live in it like a tent and at the very least, I’d always be free from salesmen. There’s no front door.

Leave a Reply