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Oh my Godddd, take our picture

Wedding invites are go. They’re out there. They’re airborne. They’re spraying in your direction like the contents of a colostomy bag piñata. Sooner or later, something’s going to hit you. Then you’re going to have to A) sulk, B) RSVP and C) think about what the fuck you’re going to wear.

It doesn’t matter whether you’ve got to yawn through the full ceremony or, as a second tier, ‘party only’ guest, you have to travel four hours to drink barbed wine in a bad disco. As ‘men of wear’ our look is all. Sufficiently thrown together to look like you haven’t tried. But also so on-point as to crush the souls of other male attendees. They’ll be guys who’ve shrugged on their work suit and smudged Kiwi on their pointy tan shoes. They’ll be a toolbox in a white tux. You can own them all. Easily. Just buy this Nanamica suit.

Rendered in Nanamica’s preffered ALPHADRY® polyester fibre, this is ideal for navigating the humidity of the dancefloor and the chilly chain-smoking outside the yurt. Of course, it’s the giant plaid pattern that’s the murder. Bold enough to destroy all sartorial pretenders, but subtle enough to avoid associations with miniature cars and squeaky noses. The cut is kind of trim – at a push I’d prefer a wider pant. But to be fair, the giant check alone is more than qualified to support your narrative of dominance.

On the practical side, the chest pocket carries a “glass holder loop” which stops your specs from falling out. It’s also designed specifically to accommodate smartphones. This easy access to your phone is especially useful. These days your average nuptials just seem to follow the same routine. Phone in pocket, “oh my Godddd, take our picture”,  phone-out, take picture of your girl screaming, “oh my Goddddd”,  in unison with her mates, phone-in again, sip of paint-stripper, “oh my Godddd, take our picture”, phone-out, take picture of your girl screaming, “oh my Goddddd”,  in unison with her mates, repeat, repeat, repeat, until six-seater shows up…

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