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Low-impact body-popping

You might have missed these trousers.

Trump’s trying to convince anyone that’ll listen the exact opposite of what everyone definitely knows. May’s autopiloting us through a wormhole into a universe made of human dung. The major parties have burst like a bag of Skittles, members bouncing down the drain and into the anonymity of the Independent Group. The ice caps are fucked; insects are fucked; there’s a US national non-emergency; Russia’s talking about pointing its nukes at us; Boris, Gove, Farage and Rees-Mogg are silently reallocating their personal investments, between boggle-eyed pronouncements that everything’s going to be great.

Even so, you’d expect the launch of a new Japanese casual trouser in five different colourways to get a few more column inches.

These are from Home Party, a fresh imprint over at London’s Garbstore. Their buy is just shorts and these trousers. The shorts are just kind of like shorts. So let’s have a look at the trousers.

They’re very much in the track-pant mould; elasticated waist; reinforced knee patches; an internal draw cord; a patch pocket round the back, with a snap button closure, and a couple of hip pockets. Allegedly they’re for, “the active lifestyle”, which rules me the fuck out straight away. But I am mildly (and I do mean mildly) intrigued by the zip fastening on the ankle. I like that the full zip is exposed, there’s no attempt to conceal it in the seam. It cranks up the utilitarian vibe and crucially enables them to be worn unzipped so they’re a bit wider at the bottom.

I’ve tried the elastic-bottomed trouser look before – most notably a pair of Engineered Garments balloon pants from a few seasons back. I found (and indeed on the odd occasion I pull them out, still find) that the hems ride up during wear. It all gets a bit socky. I look like the Prince Regent from Black Adder The Third. So I’m saying the unzipped hem thing is probably good. If I had to choose, I’d probably go with the purple ones. And just wear them round the house. I might stick Breakdance 2: Electric Boogaloo on and do a bit of low-impact body-popping. Then put them in the closet and forget about them.

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