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A compelling sole sandwich

Loafers rule. Or rather, loafers can rule. If you’re rocking a thin-soled pair, sockless, with wetsuit-tight jeans you’re a wazzock. Loafers do not rule under those circumstances. I mean (hello, a large percentage of UK men) what the fuck are you thinking? If you dress like that, please leave this website. And take your Davidoff Cool Water with you.

Those remaining might find these stocky loafers from Japanese brand Nonnative of interest. Call me a snob, but I feel like these were designed for a man with more than hair gel between his ears. They’re for tossers like me to feel superior about. Although I think it’s also fair to say that the design team at the brand’s Nakameguro HQ aren’t actively targeting the Big Fat Gypsy Wedding demographic.

There’s a compelling sole sandwich going on here. They’re massive and heavy looking – the complete antithesis of pointy, disco-king sex-wear. No one will order you a Desperado in these. And that’s a good thing.

Details are scant over on retailer Coverchord, they’re made in Italy, they’re clearly suede and they’ve a whopping Vibram welted sole. They are astonishingly beautiful. That’s about all the intel I can fathom. Although there’s is of course the price, which I can fathom. Although I wish I couldn’t. £470 is a figure that rarely makes people happy – especially when concerning a pair of non-essential, flouncy-boy shoes.

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