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That’s trainers dealt with

The insidious devotion to identical sneaker brands and styles exhibited by the attendees of international fashion weeks is remarkable. Particularly as these people position themselves at the pinnacle of individual style and creativity. Yeah, you’re wearing Balenciaga. And so is she. Yep, another pair of Off-White x Nike. Just like that other guy over there. I guess if the peak of your ambition is to drop a few ton on a pair of kicks and get street-snapped then job done. Congratulations, you’re an apostle of fleeting bullshit. If you give any fucks at all about taking the path less traveled, you might be interested in these.

They’re from Orphic and they’re pretty outlandish – right at home in a carnival of the grotesque, serious freak shoe territory. Top down they look like a ballet shoe (very Nepenthes) side on, they’re more like a traditional runner; half sandal, half walking sneaker, their beautiful hideousness is matched only by their obscurity. Needless to say, they’re not available in the UK.

I’m (cautiously) digging on these. If they fell out the sky, I’d pick them up and probably give them a go. But the chances of me getting my proxy service on is minimal. Certainly, I’d take these over anything Virgil Abloh has ever deemed worthy of sticking some stripes or some orange tape on. (I mean seriously, anyone taken in by that calculated brand-pimping piss is brainwashed to the same degree as the Grazia reader who buys a pair of Mother jeans because Meghan Markle likes them). But I’ve got the feeling that if I dropped on these, I’d enjoy their obscurity and ballet-daftness for about two weeks, then revert back to my Yuketens. So there you go, that’s trainers dealt with for another month.

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