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Dung-brained TV shows about hairdressers

This is what’s going on. This is what it’s about. Assuming your ‘it’s’ is the same as my ‘it’s’, you’ll be totally down with these wide, geometrically patterned trousers. Feel that lifestyle. There’s pleating on the front and back and according to the brand Yantor, “it brings a plump silhouette including air between the body and the fabric.” Now that is the kind of shit I feel like rolling with today; the sun’s out, the chills have backed off (in London at least) – it’s time for some air between the body and the fabric.

There’s definitely an Islamist Sonny Crocket vibe going on here; substitute Miami for Riyadh and you’re on the right lines. The pattern is great, but that voluminous silhouette… it’s just perfect. I find it astonishing that, in the UK at least, the stick-thin, ripped jeans thing is still going. Guys in calf-hugging elasto-denim, no socks, cheap loafers… I guess it’s got something to do with the continuing popularity of dung-brained TV shows about hairdressers fucking each other on holiday. And Mark Wright. And the absurd glamorisation of being a bit thick. But really, come on people… Loose trousers like this are comfortable, cooling and are frankly on-point in a way the output of All Saints has never been.

Oh whatever… Dig your Faliraki bumpkin wear? You stick with it sunshine. Personally I think these trousers, worn with a simple white tee and plain kicks on a warmer day are some next-level business. Relaxed, just patterned enough without being daft and, crucially, they’ll make you look like the kind of dude who doesn’t have Celebs Go Dating on series link.

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