On the odd occasion when I can build up enough momentum to leave the flat and walk all the way to Asda to buy two packets of Jam Creams for 50p each, rather than buying one packet at the much nearer corner shop for a quid, I wear this. I feel like it’s the kind of look that says, yeah, I can afford a quid for one packet of Jam Creams, I just fancy a walk today and I suppose I might as well take advantage of the Rollback pricing at Asda.

This look also says, I’m a grown man, but I’m the kind of grown man who is comfortable eating a lot of Jam Creams. I’m totally aware that other biscuits are available. And yes, I know sociological norms suggest I should choose a more artisan biscuit, something more modish, something made of ferns and spores. But I like Jam Creams and as I say, I think this outfit effectively reflects that.

The new addition to my roster are the shoes. They’re by Kids Love Gaite (via Dover Street). Huge crepe sole, but crucially given the black paint treatment, so over time they won’t get that ghastly shit-mixed-with-lemon-curd look of natural gum soles. I’m also busting (deep breath) an ancient J Crew shirt – say what you like, their stuff lasts – a Comme des Garçons Homme coaches jacket, an Eastlogue stripy cagoule, an Oliver Spencer beanie, some SUPER sunglasses, an Anderson’s belt, some Blue Blue Japan socks and some navy cotton Engineered Garments Willy Post Pants. Crumbs.