Nope, they’re not Vans. Although these kicks do resemble a few of the Californian skate brand’s more recent embroidered drops. They’re actually by AMB, a brand that I believe are run out of Japan, with construction in Portugal.

Without wanting to sound like a ‘how to’ of dressing (before doing exactly that) using charismatic footwear to create the focal point of an otherwise uncomplicated get up, is a simple and timeless tactic. But it’s easily ballsed. This is not an excuse to deploy your old perforated, pointy brogues from Dune.

Maybe try something like the ‘Aztec’ pattern here. Framed by a wide, parallel chino, they give me a middling level of feels. I mean, I’m not trying to start a wide chino and mildly interesting Vans-rip-off revolution here. I’m not that bothered either way. Being candid, it’s possible I’m slightly less interested writing this than you are reading it.

So anyway, they’re £127.54 over at Digital Mountain. And doubtless, if I had them, right now, I’d probably bust them down the cafe for a bacon baguette and a latte. And when I got back, I’d notice that the soles were slightly less pristine. And over the next few weeks they’d get a knock here and a scuff there. Soon they’d be lonely and forgotten at the back of the shoe rack. While I poke about on Japanese websites looking for more trainers.