May your god forgive me. These Needles tracksuit trousers will not leave my thoughts. They scrabble at my conscious mind with 100% polyester digits. At night they are a wanton succubus to my dozing form. For Christ’s sake heal me, I know not how to free myself from this incantation most vile.

Obviously sportswear is a thing. I know it’s a blatant trend to get Supreme, Raf, Vetements, Nike and Gosha all up in your mix. I know it can all look desperately fashiony and the nadir of I’m-part-of-the-club, me-too label pimping. I just don’t see Needles as part of that landscape. I’m mightily drawn into Needles creator, Keizo Shimizu’s, peculiar vision that trackpants can and should be worn with a blouse-like shirt, a cowboy hat and a faux-fur gilet.

But remember this jogging trousers cum formalwear thing is not new. A glance back to 1989, reveals actor Julian Sands flexing enormous jogging style trousers with hiking boots and a nehru blazer by Comme des Garçons. Admittedly not a look that took off as such.

I should also point out that I’m not advocating embracing the full Needles cowboy hat and blouse get-up. I just like the idea of some trackpants in my arsenal. I say some, I mean these. These and only these.

As a non-20 or 30 year old bro, I have my misgivings. My girl tells me she doesn’t get it. That I’ll look like a, “hoolie”. Thing is, I’ve just got it wedged in my head that I can pull off these trousers with maybe some McKinleys shoes, a few Engineered Garments layers on top and a counterfeit disposition of carefree nonchalance. I’ll let you know how I get on.