When Comme des Garçons outpost Dover Street Market goes on sale, they go big. None of the usual 20% for a couple of weeks, then 30% for a bit, then finally 50% on the rot no one wants. Dover Street pretty much goes straight 50% off, day one, no messing. It’s a confident approach and one that reduces fans of all things Comme to rabbits in the headlights – all of a sudden Comme gear is a bit more affordable, if not positively reasonable. Madness is authorised to ensue. The only problem for non-Londoneers, is that this budgetary ebullience is not fully reflected on the Dover Street website.

Well, that’s not strictly true. They do do an online sneaker sale. So no kit, just kicks. But, the good news is, it’s good. 50% across the board and there’s still a few desirable oddities in the mix. I’m a fan of the fat-soled Julian David sneakers, down to a comparatively modest £140. However here I’m spotlighting these Undercover numbers.

Available at £155 (formally a shocking £310) they’re pretty basic, Converse shaped sneakers. But they’ve got a 100% leather upper and have a couple of onboard details that’ll cement your status as the most self-obsessed wanglord in the room. Firstly, you’ll notice the navy, leather trim around the foothole (I assume there’s a technical term for that?). This trim does nothing practical and exists only to look good, a goal it achieves. Secondly, for those who like other people to know what they’re wearing, on the instep there’s some covetable Undercover branding – which irritatingly Dover Street online have neglected to illustrate in the photos.

So there you go. 155 quid for some sneakers, virtually no one on the planet is wearing. That’s what you want isn’t it? Unless I’ve shambolically misjudged the purpose of my own site.