I’m torn between thinking this T-shirt belongs in an operating theatre or in an episode of Captain Pugwash. It’s got both a “pipe me aboard” and a “nurse, the forceps” vibe running simultaneously. I expect that’s exactly why you’re here. You’re probably the kind of guy that demands of his garms a duality of interpretation. Which is useful, as I’ve been meaning to try and define more accurately my target audience. ‘Clothing with a duality of interpretation’ now goes to the top of the list. I predict big things for this blog.

We’re looking at a Kaptain Sunshine T-shirt. I own exactly no Kaptain Sunshine. It’s very much in the list of brands I want to own, but don’t, along with Lamborghini and Magnum Infinity.

Specificationwise, you’ve got 100% cotton, a boaty neck, some shoulder buttons and a breast pocket. Plus, it comes in three different colours. I know, I know, whatever next. There’s a pale blue stripe, a white version and another colour I can’t be bothered to rip down and post cos I don’t like it.