Do you dress up to go to the bathroom? I confess, I don’t. But bathroom specific outerwear, as illustrated by this blazer made from a towel, is surely a niche worth exploring. Rather than clothing designed to keep water out, this single breasted flannel will absorb anything and everything your body chooses to seep – like a giant sanitary pad, with lapels. Does it get much sexier than that?

I mean sure, it’ll soak up a man’s perspiration, leaving you smelling like a locker room, but that’s just the beginning of its talents. If you’re the kind of loveable rogue who thinks it’s funny to make loud crass, sexual comments about women’s physiques, and find you’re always getting drinks tossed over you in bars, this is ideal. The booze will be absorbed into your foul smelling blazer and you can quickly find another innocent girl to entertain with your witticisms about what you’d like to do to her arse.

I’m not positive Ivy-leaguers Haversack had ‘idiotwear for pub shitwits‘ on their mood-board when they designed this. But happy accident or not, 275 quid is surely a small price to pay to keep your dignity in front of your equally piss-minded peers.