Something of a brute this. Just not sure if a bro can pull of this kind of bombast right now? It’s an armageddon of checks, dots and camo to be sure. But would it make make you look like a boss-faced, creative demigod, or an office peon who’s tossed himself through the Zara sale? I just don’t know. I’m all about clashing fabrics – ask anyone who’s ever asked me what I’m all about, they’ll tell you. But this thing is next level. I’m actually intimidated. I feel like I’ve just been stared down by a shirt.

It’s from the Japanese house that is Sophnet. A brand that specialises in putting camo bits onto pretty normal looking things and making you wanna drop three large on them. (I use ‘large’ here as a synonym for ‘hundred’, rather than the usual ‘thousand’, because a) it sounds cool and b) I would never get to use the phrase ‘large’ otherwise.)

Mother of pearl buttons, curved hem, button down collar, that’s pretty much the deal – but no one’s gonna be peeping those on this face-full of cloth. For the wearer, I guess it’s all about having the audacity to consider this mangle of pattern high-steez. And the more I look at it, I kind of do. It’s by Sophnet after all. Those dudes have probably never even heard of Zara.