Too much coat for you? Don’t rush to answer. There’s no shame in admitting you’re not bro enough. Thing is, this a big piece. There’s a lot going on. Only the strongest-minded dudes could successfully pilot this into polite society. Unswervable confidence, unshakable self-belief… without these things, a man’s mind could turn in on itself. Too much pattern, so much responsibility. Lesser things have driven men to madness.

The coat is from a new brand over at Present called Hancock. It’s by a couple of ex-Mackintosh guys, Daniel Dunko and Gary Bott, Like Mackintosh, it’s all about garms heavy in vulcanised waterproofing, and this top-end, weatherproofed work is all lovingly hand-made in their Scottish factory.

Some of this kit has a real edge though. Strong patterns and graphic detail, set against classic shapes – I would roll in any of these pieces. And owning a Mackintosh as I do, if these have a similar level of finish, I know you’d be buying a jacket that’s virtually indestructible.

Course, as is so wearily the case, quality at this level costs. And you’ll need the best part of an 800 stack to even sit at the table with this collection. That’s significant walletage. That’s a shovelful, even if you were just dropping on a traditional navy or back number – you know, the kind of thing that wouldn’t frighten a horse, but lasts for ever and goes with everything you own. But 800 for a coat covered in squares and dots?

The truth is, it’d never be your ‘main coat’ would it? You’d have to have some other, plainer ones, in your arsenal. You’d have to mix this in once in a while – one day on, three days off. It’s not like you could wear it every day, it’s too much of a ‘personality piece’? I don’t care how confident, tenacious and mentally muscular the man. Any dude who’s going to wear this on successive days, is treading the line between insane steez and Colonel Kurtz lunacy. Remember, a dude in a coat like this is always just a barley wine away from seeing dancing rainbows in puddles of their own piss.