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They’ve forgotten to remain just a bit fashionable

Remi Relief doesn’t get much play on this site. The brand offers Californian skate ‘n’ surf style, through the mangler of Japanese perspective. Much of it tends to be a little flat, a bit too, sun-bleached beach-bum. These bejewelled shorts, however, are anything but. Going in a different direction entirely, you’re looking at lip gloss slathered mall-wear. Just add a Musical.ly account, a dismissive air of self-confidence and a guy called Trent who keeps texting you pictures of his abs. Well done. You’re officially a valley girl. Only in a hairy bloke’s body.

According to retailer Present, we’re talking corduroy shorts with, “Native American style embroidery”. But (and I might be wrong, I haven’t seen these physically myself) they don’t look embroidered as such, more riveted with metal beads. Whether they’re tacked on, or bolted on, either way you’d be a dude in shorts with flowery metal detail. Aren’t these the kind of things you see mums wear when it’s hot in the UK? Accessorised with a glam off-the shoulder blouse from Coast and some cork wedges from River Island?

I don’t think I’m dude enough to roll in these shorts. They appear to be concentrating so hard on being ironically unfashionable, they’ve forgotten to remain just a bit fashionable and consequently they’re entirely unfashionable. I mean, I think that’s what I think? Unless dressing like Shania Twain is what we’re supposed to be doing now?

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